So I moved to Texas a few weeks back, travelled to DC, and finally found some time to process this whole move and settle in.
It honestly feels like a new life. So strange and exciting to already be dreaming about what’s next for me next year.
A few days back, I took a leap of faith and looked up my old school friends.
Side note: I used to be one of the popular kids in school - good at studies, super naughty, favorite of the coolest teachers, and always surrounded by friends. I was cute, smart, confident. And I don’t compare myself with people now. I compare myself with my old self. That kid was the coolest. My choices were the best.
But things changed. I was damaged when my environment shifted in 2015 when I moved to a smaller city (vizag) and away from my people. You never realize how much good people shape you into a happier, better human.
And just when I thought the worst had already happened, 2023 hit. A major downfall in my character and mental state. It ruined parts of me.
It’s like buying your favorite camera - it works perfectly, and then one day you accidentally drop it. Suddenly it stops responding, the pictures lose resolution. That’s what hitting rock bottom feels like. You lose your own resolution.
Anyway, back to a few days ago, I knew my school friends would never be able to find me. That’s how I am when I ghost people: once it’s done for me, I disappear.
Turns out, they had been looking for me everywhere. Messaging me, calling from restaurants, searching for my sister on LinkedIn, reaching out to my oldest friends from when I was ten.
And meanwhile I was here, spending my birthday with fake people who forced me to celebrate just to ruin my day.
So I reached out to my old friends… and can I expect anyone to text me back after disappearing for years? No. I wasn’t in touch with some for 3 years, some for 5, some for 10. Crazy, right?
But damn, that felt good.
We all changed. Grew into people we never imagined. My school friends were the coolest back then, and they still are - doing crazy things at work, traveling the world, coolest people to talk to.
Time changes people. And while most people I knew have become better with time, some also turned out the exact opposite - especially my B.Tech classmates. It’s funny how your values, personality, and perseverance decide the direction you grow.
We all experienced failures in love. We all suffered friendship breakdowns. We all worked our asses off. We all healed. Some through therapy, some alone. My path doesn’t feel uncommon anymore. I feel more connected.
And the best part?
I just knew that if we talked now, we’d never end as strangers again. We met at the right time - the right phase, after walking similar paths.
I don’t know if every friendship ends this way. I don’t feel this about my B.Tech classmates. But I truly believe some people work on themselves, become better with time, and you’re meant to meet them again later, when everyone is ready.
I’m glad I found them again. It was meant to happen now.
Never question yourself when your heart screams for distance. We didn’t leave each other during our worst phases. We would’ve still shown up. We just disconnected for a while
(a few years :P) Not many will understand this.