TL;DR: Don’t shy away and be your true and happy vibrant self. We are all going to die one day. Learn what you should without ego and embarrassment, and be revolutionary.
Over the last few months, I’ve come to understand something really important. I lost a friendship that meant a lot to me, not because of what we were, but because of how easily something good can fall apart when we act without thinking. I learned that taking a step back, even in the rush of excitement, can save something beautiful. A little mindfulness can prevent a lot of unnecessary damage and save a beautiful thing. This isn't a testament to anger, this is to all those shortcuts and cheap thrills to happiness.
I still think about what we could have been if either of us had paused long enough to understand the moment instead of reacting to it. It also taught me how quickly anger can turn messy, even in the calmest people. Since then, I don’t think I’ve ever let myself raise my voice. Not out of fear of anyone(🤭), but because my heart rate deserves peace. Life tested me, and this time I actually passed after failing for years.
I won’t pretend the way things ended didn’t change how I saw that person, but the truth gave me my closure. When my instincts told me something was wrong, they were right. And when everything became clear, the hurt faded because I understood the bigger picture.
I’m not upset anymore. I know I made mistakes. But I also know some things were already cracking long before I noticed. And honestly, maybe I needed that whole experience. It reminded me that values, empathy, and mindfulness matter far more than temporary excitement. You can lose something incredibly valuable in the rush of the moment - whether it’s an opportunity, a person who lifts you up, or access to something meaningful.
Above all, this taught me to trust myself. If your heart tells you to love someone, do it. If it tells you to whack their ass, do it (but gently, because there's other things to be good at too)
While it didn’t just teach me lessons, it made me ask myself questions - like how I would behave if someone reached out to me. would I be empathetic or insecure? Would I ever betray a friend to protect self image?
Nothing in life is black and white - it’s all gradients, layers, hues. But when life gives you a chance to rebuild yourself, fix things, relearn something the right way, take it. That’s when God forgives you. That’s when you forgive you.
Today I don't hold anger, hate and disrespect. I don't have questions. Maybe it was always about the benefits from this friendship or maybe not, maybe it was all an act or maybe it was truly the unfiltered and their realest self with me.
But no matter what, I can’t stay angry once the night ends and this night lasted for weeks. But you know the good news? I finally woke up a few weeks ago. And that means it’s a happy ending.
p.s. Wherever my friends are, I will be the happiest to see them do better in their life professionally, personally and physically.
And I know for a fact that I bring positive impact in people's life - and maybe something that I used to tell or do or taught them, they would be doing it today too.